When Plans Change: Unexpected Surprises

I am a planner. Type A all the way. I needed to know yesterday what the plans are for next weekend. I've been working on spontaneity a lot this summer, mostly in the form of just saying "yes" to whatever my kids ask to do (which usually isn't a huge stretch for me as it either involves the pool, the playground, the museum center, or the zoo).

This is my last full week of summer vacation. Naturally I had it all planned out. A neat little to-do list of experiences to check off. One more zoo trip. One more museum center trip. A trip to the playground where we can feed the ducks our stale leftover waffles from Saturday morning. A matinee of Planes Fire and Rescue. Checking out a new indoor playplace. A meetup with a college roommate and her kids. So much to cram into one more week at home with them.

So on Monday we set off to the zoo. A little over an hour into our trip (I had packed a lunch- I had PLANNED on staying for several hours), my normally rambunctious six-year-old sidled up next to me and told me she didn't feel like herself and wanted to go home. My heart started to race and I think I half expected her to puke on the spot. But she said her belly didn't hurt, she was just tired. Water and some Craisins didn't help. She still wanted to come home. So we did. And she dozed on and off on the couch for the rest of the day. And for much of Tuesday (there went the park with the ducks and the matinee). The final verdict reached early this morning was strep throat. Afternoon plans were cancelled and antibiotics prescribed. She's on the rebound now-- pretty much back to normal and ready to head out on an adventure tomorrow. She doesn't care that two days of my plans for her had to be cancelled or changed around. And there were some unexpected surprises in that.

The unexpected surprise of taking B to the river to throw rocks (a favorite activity of his) and having him all to myself while she slept. The unexpected surprise of having a quiet morning to make muffins and birthday cake for One Ordinary Dad and arrange his presents just so.

The unexpected surprise of a little more time to read while my sweet girl rested and my boy quietly sat by her side on the couch and patted her leg (those two really have an amazing bond). The unexpected surprise of a long midday walk alone while both kids napped (it's kind of nice to have a husband who works from home). The unexpected surprise of a little extra time than I anticipated to go get my classroom ready. The unexpected snuggles. The unexpected quiet. It was actually, unexpectedly, good for my soul.

I learned today that these unexpected flowers that appeared recently in our backyard are called "surprise lilies." In nine years of living in this house I've never seen them before. What a beautiful surprise and the perfect end to what I was wrestling with in my heart.

Sometimes plans change unexpectedly. Things don't go the way we want. And it's easy to have a pity party (I was having one big time on Tuesday morning when it was clear that it wasn't just the weekend catching up with C). I didn't want to deal with a sick kid on my last week of summer break with just the two of them. I didn't want to deal with cancelling and changing my plans. But it turned out okay. And I know these were just superficial little end of summer fun plans, but if I can trust God for the unexpected surprises and blessings when the little plans change, then certainly I can have faith to hold onto him when big important plans change, when the unexpected surprises may take longer to appear, when it really matters.

~One Ordinary Mom :-)

Kids Vs. Pets

Tuesday, early evening, C starts coughing, but it isn't too bad.

Wednesday morning, upon waking, C is wheezing and can't catch her breath even when sitting still and just talking.

The diagnosis from the doctor is Pneumonia. The second time she has been diagnosed with it in 8 weeks. The same thing happened last time: a simple cough into Pneumonia within 24 hours. C is also referred to an allergist/asthma specialist. We think it's "just" asthma since it since it's mostly just wheezing and asthma is known for complicating even the simplest of colds.

But in the back of my mind I wonder, "what if?" What if it's the pets?

We've had Sierra since early 2004, before we were married. 

 Zoey joined our family in 2006.

C and B have adored our pets. Sierra and Zoey have snuggled up with all of us when we've been sick, have stood guard faithfully next to baby carriers, occasionally help with after dinner clean-up (Sierra is known for finishing uneaten meat and Zoey "hoovers" the floor), and have provided C and B with entertainment and a sense of responsibility (C and B fight to feed them when the bowls are empty, and to give them treats).

And now?

Now they have to find new homes.

And I am heartbroken. So is One Ordinary Dad. So is C. B doesn't get it yet, but I know he's going to go looking for one of his furry buddies sometime in the next few weeks and be upset when he can't find them.

Yes, there is asthma, and there are seasonal allergies, but C's pet dander reaction was off the charts.

The doctor measured C's oxygen in take. It was low. Almost scary low. And while she is recovering from Pneumonia, the doctor said it still shouldn't be that low. In other words, my girl has been struggling to breathe in her own house. Because she hasn't had a visible reaction and because her "struggle" to breathe isn't really visible under normal health conditions (it's not like she's walking around the house panting), we've never known.

We asked what it would take to keep the pets. In short:

1. C would have to have a regular allergy shot-- best case it would be once a month, worst case it would be 2 or 3 times a week, the doctor said he would start her at once a week and see how she responded. 
2. Both pets would need to be bathed TWICE a week. 
3. All carpets (we have hardwood and lots of rugs) would need to be cleaned once a week. 
4. All slipcovers, comforters, decorative pillows and throws would need to be washed once a week. 
5. Our HVAC needs a special HEPA filter and that filter would need to be changed once a month. 
6. We'd have to spray our furniture and floors once a week with tannic acid (an anti-allergen that kills pet dander and costs $20-$30/bottle with one bottle being enough for 1, possibly 2, applications. 

And none of that is guaranteed to work. We could try it all for a month and have C's levels retested to see if it's effective, but if it's not, we'd still be where we are right now.

This weekend, Zoey is going to live with family. My grandmother and uncle have always watched Zoey when we've been out of town and have grown to love her. They live close by and C and B can stop by and hang out with her whenever they want (C can still be around animals, she just can't live with animals). We're still trying to find a home for a cat and fear she may be harder to place.

Once both pets are gone, we have a lot of cleaning ahead of us. We still need the HEPA filter (but don't have to change it as often as we would if we were trying to keep our pets). And we need to do one application of tannic acid to kill the lingering dander. We will need to clean carpets and wash slipcovers, comforters, decorative pillows/throws, and vacuum every nook and cranny. And we'll need to clean out all of our air ducts.

And then all should be well. C should be breathing easier. We'll go to get her levels checked again. She'll go in once a year to have things checked. If she doesn't react as strongly to pet dander in the future, we might be able to explore having another cat or dog in the future. 

But in the meantime, in the now, my heart is broken. I am devastated. We all are. But C is a human. She doesn't want weekly shots (we asked and were willing to try). C grew inside of me for almost 42 weeks and is a physical piece of me that Zoey and Sierra are not.

I know there are those out there who think we should go for it, who think we should fight to keep our pets. But the thing is, One Ordinary Dad has walked this road before. He had the same diagnosis when he was C's age and he knows what it's like to wheeze and have trouble breathing. He doesn't want that for C and neither do I. Clearly One Ordinary Dad's issues lessened over time and we can only hope and pray that the same will happen for C.

~One Ordinary Mom

PS...C's fifth birthday is coming up. We may have felt slightly guilty that we have to give up our beloved pets and gone a little overboard on her present, getting her one of these.  It's a little out of our birthday budget, but she asked for a camera and video camera (this does both) and does enjoy our iPads, so this has the best of all three worlds and will hopefully last her into second or third grade, at which point we may be looking at a more sophisticated device and e-reader (yikes).

These Days

I've been under the weather for every single day of this new year. It's mostly been a bothersome cold. Right after the new year and right before I started back to school I was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection and told to take over-the-counter meds to manage symptoms until they went away. They didn't. I went back to the doctor today and am now in possession of some pretty powerful cough medicine and a z-pack (antibiotics) with the promise that I should be 100% by the end of the week. We'll see.

In the meantime, we've been alternating days of rest (puzzles and movies and books and putting our jammies on early) with days of being out and about (the zoo and a baby shower and a game night with friends).

I received my "Master Teacher" designation last Thursday. It's a designation from the state that basically required that I a.)already have at least 7 years of teaching and a Master's degree and that I b.)secure recommendation signatures from my building principal and one other person plus write a 12 page paper explaining how I meet all the criteria of being a Master Teacher and include evidence (in all, a 40 page reflective paper on my teaching practice). We went out to celebrate by getting ice cream (pictured above).

2013 is off to a slow start for sure, but we're looking forward to so many things. My sister-in-law will be welcoming a precious baby girl into the world at the beginning of April. My husband's best friend is getting married in Los Angeles in June, and we're looking forward to a few days away. My family reunion (mom's side) is in Myrtle Beach in July, and it will be Bs first time at the beach. The neighborhood pool four blocks away is getting renovated and redone. C will start kindergarten in August (but right now we're busy planning her birthday party at Run, Jump, and Play).

Our next few days are supposed to be cold-- like windchill advisory cold. I imagine we will be spending many more evenings in our jammies early rather than out and about. Stay warm, friends.

~One Ordinary Mom :-)